FASHION KILLS No.1 : Skinnie it up!

Swine Flu? Pffft whatever. The new dis-ease to contract is something that lives in your thighs! You wanna know, ask the Fashionistas triapsing up and down Melrose, decked out in de rigueur leather jackets and a big ole scarf in 99 degree weather! They might give you some of that Tingling Thigh Syndrome. Hey fashion plate, I'll tell ya what you suffer from. It's called a malfunction of your pea-sized brain that is telling you to fork out ridiculous amounts of money to get your fat squeezed out of your thighs. There are alternative methods. Try a lobotomy to begin with and take your fellow newscasters with you. They should know by now that tanning beds give you skin cancer. It's been proven. No sun-'bs'-SPF lotion is gonna protect you. You won't be laughing in 10 years! Here's the video report

Thanks EB!