LADIES & GENTLEMEN, WELCOME ABOARD Dirty Airways flight DB 1 to Los Angeles International. There are only 2 exits on this plane. Please take a moment to review them or kick your snoring fellow passenger in front of you so you may pass on by without shoving your crotch into the back of his seat, to examine these exits better.To the front of the plane is the 'exit' sponsored by the collagen crew of DELTA, who will walk you through their safety video and maybe you will learn what not to do to your face in case of imminent facial augmentation or reconstruction.
To the aft, are the 'helpful' inflight crew from G4tv, presenting the Nintendo Wii 'floating device' demo. (Opinion: both are pretty funny and enjoyable to watch, although I would still fall asleep in my seat watching any safety video on any airline!)
We know you have other choices for mindless entertainment, and we are glad that you have made Dirty Airways part of your travel plans. Thank you and we look forward to flying with you again. Enjoy.
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2 comments:
Interesting post, Mr. Han.
I think, however, that this is a case of "give the people what they want" vs "common sense and safety". Have we learned nothing from history? Hot wires, even hotter CPUs in close proximity to fuel tanks and volatile oxygen canisters. It's a sad and I'm afraid potentially catastrophic soup of circumstances, driven by the poor economy. Go ahead, airlines. Keep adding the junk onto your fleet. I'd like to barbeque from my seat. Look for in-flight hibachis soon.
I agree. Rumor has it United or some other US airline were thinking about charging for toilet use. "Um sorry Ma'am no toilet coupon no twinkle. You're just gonna have to hold it all the way to JFK!" There'd better be a masseuse in there or maybe a hibachi too!
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